Something that surprises me is the thoughts that wander through my head during the service. In seminary and before, I really thought I would have just holy thoughts, glorious reflections on the saving work of Jesus Christ displayed in the Holy Eucharist. I was going to have great thoughts. Yeah, well, I guess not...
1. Does this collar make me look like I have a double chin? Could liposuction suck that out? Why did I have to make such a big deal and tell people that they should not obsesss on outer beauty? Why did I laugh at people with plastic surgery? Now I have to live my life with a double chin because of my big mouth and foolish pride. Let me subtly reach up and check, dang it, that is a double chin!
2. I wonder what the dog is doing. I bet she is back on the couch. She is not supposed to be there, but she looks so cute sitting on the cushion.
3. "Flintstones, meet the Flintstones, what is the next lyric?"
4. Wow, he looks great this morning! Why did I vow to forsake all others? There is no good reason for that part of Holy Matrimony. Heck, is marriage even a sacrament? Focus.
5. Aagh, no, why did I wear this pair of underwear? They always ride up right when we get to the Sanctus.